Citrus Juice

Marching on

 Unlike my mother (or so I am told) I don't take to being pregnant naturally and am soooooo not dewy, glowy nor chirpy when am 'with child'. Don't get me wrong I LOVE having a bubba and cannot wait to hold the delectable package of a newborn in my hands- it's the 9 months getting to that delivery point is what I find most challenging.  I find the morning sickness and exhaustion debilitating and the fact that I cant fit into any of my normal clothes to be somewhat distressing.  It's times like these that I am reminded by my dad's "you cant always have it all' and know that instead of wallowing in bile, self pity and misery I should really look at the + side i.e. having the opportunity to bond with the bun in the oven over 40 weeks and be rewarded with another bubba at the end of the journey huzzah! and Toddler D will have a sibling to grow up with just as I had Azuradec and Pupster (Azle the Puzzle came years later) to run around with- oh what fun they are going to have.

xxx

Toddler D recently turned 2. And just as the books predicted he has started to stamp his feet in frustration when he is unable to communicate his wants/needs properly or get his own way.  I now find myself in new mum mode, one that wags her finger and threatens naughty corner whenever the wail is in danger of turning into screams.  Must admit that disciplining is hard work. As is communicating in these situation. It's times like these that I am reminded by my mum's words "ni nak jadi apa jenis manusia ni" (and what type of human are you going to turn out to be) as we were growing up.

I guess sometimes parents say the things they do for jolly good reasons.

xxx

In a spirit of being proactive and not succumb to being a miserable cow, I have decided to try and get the morning sickness remedied via acupuncture (I have an appointment at 930am tomorrow fingers crossed) and boosting my pysche by purchasing a whole new trendy maternity wardrobe (chanelling the All Saints as per Azuradec's suggestion). 

Just as well as we're moving house as I am running out space for my new purchases. Eeeks.

New York New York

 
There is an immediate vacancy in our department the New York Office for a senior person and they are looking within our team to fill it. I have till Monday to put my hand up.  Friday morning I was convinced that it would be me benefiting from the Firm's internal mobility policy; Friday afternoon, Toddler D, SFM and I were already running around Central Park and viewing the Duchamps and Dalis at the Metropolitan Museum and then Friday evening discussing the grand plan with SFM *screeeech*, *thud* the impact of the move hit me:

• SFM will have to uproot himself and his career again for me (having done so twice in the last 5 years) just when he has just settled in Singers
• We will have not have the same child care support we currently have in place for Toddler D.
• Highly unlikely we'd be living 10mins away from home as we do now therefore I will no longer be able to zip around in the morning and lunchtime for Toddler D's school runs -  nor will I make it home in time for his bath and bedtime.
• We'd be moving acoss continents in an workplace environment where I'd have to prove myself all over again at a time when I am not feeling sociable nor the best - exhaustion, nausea and generally blearghy.

And so here we are on a sunday evening and the answer has become apparently clear. Whilst we think SFM may not find it impossible to start afresh in NYC and childcare issues can be sorted out (after all other working parents must be facing the same conundrum) we're not sure whether the timing is right- there are just too many things going on at the moment.

So in conclusion we're not likely to move to NYC or anywhere for the next year at least. I'll just have to bide my time and wait for the next opportunity in the year(s) to come.

Not all bad news. On a more positive note - there are changes abound in our set up in Singers.

• We found a lovely house we like not far from the sea and the longest park in Singers. We may not be moving to the East Coast in the States but (it looks like) we are set to rent new digs on the East Coast in Singers. Our offer has been verbally accepted and all being well, we will move in April 2010.   
• We hope to greet a new member of the SF-Avis family in September 2010. I have just completed the1st trimester and am soooooo looking forward to meeting Bubba2 in due time. 

Hot hot hot

Thanks everyone for the words of encouragement! Often it's the getting started that is the most difficult.

Hot days in Sing city. The grass and leaves have started to brown and people are becoming grumpier by the hour as a result of the unrelenting heat.  It rained yesterday morning and cooled down the temperature ... briefly. By noon, we were back to feeling grumpily hot hot hot. I have seen (too) many accidents on the road and reckon that given none of the cars were Toyota, road rage is the main reason why cars are smashing into each other.

I have got a frog in my throat since saturday morning. I have told SFM to be careful not to come too near lest he gets inflicted and develops full blown manflu from an innocous sore throat.  He is suitably alarmed. I have also tried to warn Toddler D off but it does not seem to have worked. He continues to hug his mumum whenever the opportunity arise. I feel torn between (gently) pushing him away to lapping up the affection as am well aware that this PDA or DA even is temporary - expiry date to appear as soon as peer pressure rear its ugly head in his life. Ah...such is life.

Read skinny bitch - enjoyed it despite initial reservation when presented with the book as a birthday present from work colleage upon hearing my comments on how good VB is looking these days - apparently she loves and abide with the SB rules. Work colleague now regretting gift as have taken to reading out loud passages on 'why meat consumption is bad for you'  in the office during our down time.

Am engrossed in our March book club book - A Fraction of A Whole. Lucky as am required to finish reading it by the end of the month. A walk in the park for the fancy free foot loose bohemian artist that was me circa 2007, HIGHLY challenging for the current me who is happens to be juggling several bowling balls and pins whilst walking down a busy road.

Other fronts - am analysing why family relationships can be so tricky and how to break the pattern of years "default behaviour" in times of conflict. Cyclic action-reaction doesnt bring about any change let alone positive change in the long run. However as we all know, it aint easy to break a habit of a lifetime -  especially if collective years combined add up to more than a hundred.

Picture Perfect

 This photograph was taken by my multi talented sister in law Naan Bread in Kathmandu last month. She posted it in on he Facebook in her fun album entitled "Things to Do Before You Die" and underneath it she wrote:  Do not resent growing old. Many are denied the privilege. Someone said this. Can't remember whom... maybe Oprah. Embrace your wrinkles, gray hair, belly, receding hairline, saggy bits..at least you're not dead..yet."

I love the picture - in my mind, it is Azuradec and I nattering away 60 years from now. I also love what NB wrote. Often I am so busy getting caught up with the daily humdrums - deadlines, must-dos, to-dos, should-dos that I forget to pause, appreciate the moment and be thankful for all that I have.

 

For I am thankful and life is indeed precious.

 

Green fingers (not mine)

Where we left off

It's been a while.

Location

We are still in the Lion City. Am trying very hard to convince SFM that we need to move countries preferably somewhere with 4 seasons and the people are not so kiasu. Alas he remains unconvinced - claiming to be tired of upping sticks every 2-3 years. SFM is keen to 'settle for a bit' and build on what we have in Singers, be it homelife, friendships or career progression. Personally I think it's the tropical sun that he loves and is unwilling to forsake ( not surprising considering he is the SunflowerMan?)  And because I have made him move countries twice in the past 4 years and yet do not want to play the victim I have decided to embrace life here and implement a few changes to the current set up i.e looking for a better house to live in, replacing our support structure at home and launching a film club "Loops and Spool"  for world cinema enthusiasts like me. Hopefully this will see a healthy trajectory in our quality of life.

Toddler D (previously known as Bubba D)

Bubba D is no  longer a bubba but a delightful toddler now. He turns two this Friday - would you believe! He is currently obsessed with cars, dogs, aeroplanes and cars. His favourite objects (apart from our car and his toy cars) at the moment are his i. towel a pressie from Aunty Azuredec; and ii. car themed pyjamas which he wears to sleep at night and dons as a cape over his shorts and t-shirt during the day. 

 
Chief Assistant to the Assistant Chief

I was appointed a 'senior member' of the company earlier this year. However, the benefits of the promotion are still to be ascertained. My job description  and monthly bank account balance remain the same.As for workload - I still do not have any juniors to delegate the grunt work to and am still filling up tedious forms not just for me but also for others.  The only difference (obvious to me) is  that I am now required to give three instead of one months notice. I suppose in these challenging economic times, I should be grateful to i. have a job ii. have a job iii. have a job. In any case, I'm not complaining too much as deep inside, I am abashed as to how much of a champagne socialist I have become.

Books

Thankfully I have managed to read quite a number of books since the year started. I recently read the Bookseller of Kabul which left me feeling slightly depressed for reasons you would find out if you read the book yourself. I also noted with interest that the protaganist in the book has written his version of the book called "There was once a Bookseller in Kabul" which I'd be interested to get my hands on just to see how different he saw his life from the original version.

My current read is A Fraction of a Whole which is what our bookclub  will be discussing at the end of the month. It is quite a hefty read however I am enjoying what I have read thus far.

Others

I have taken on a number of new projects for 2010 despite my better judgment. One of them is to write a serious book on a serious topic . I now have to work out a timetable so that I know what I have to achieve on a weekly basis.

Despite my hectic schedule, I am still addicted to this site and love looking at beautiful things on design blogs.