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things that go missing

i often feel that  i spend most of my time hunting for things that have gone missing; or wondering where the missing things went. 

confirmed missing: am resigned to the fact that the spectacles really went AWOL inside my car; the blue top will never came back from the wash; and that old fav  hat  of mine did go walkies (without me).

lucky finds: facial voucher tucked into a safe compartment in the drawer; old pictures stashed in a plastic bag under the stereo stand and thumbdrive in the DIY drawer.

i started compiling a list of things that are still missing, so that a full search can be conducted over the weekend.

so far i have:-

1. front door padlock (yes i am wondering how it went missing too)
2. book- year of magical thinking (to lend to azures)
3. best of Faithless CD
4. azures' bloke Oasis CD
5. roadmap
6. crystal Bracelet
7. 3x recyclable shopping bags

i asked SFM if he had anything to add on to this list.

he said 'time'.

i feel like a tortoise these days

• still reading: when a crocodile eats the sun (almost done though)
• crossword progress: missed out on 2 (obvious) answers in the guardian week ending 25th
• getting hooked on: prison break dvds  (damn its addictive)

been feeling abit dreary and blearghy in the past weeks for something i cant quite put a finger on.  initially attributed it to the post holiday blues but then realised that this lethargy has been with me even before the SA trip, sometime after the new year.

so in the past nights, i have been telling myself that tomorrow will be a fresh new day on which i could start anew.  plan something different, have fun, be creative. and yet these days, (even after our early start and the refreshing morning walks),  i start feeling crappy at 8am in the car on the way to work. by  noon, the feeling has turned into impatience and some self loathing and by the evenings i feel slow and tired.

am wondering whether i am lacking nutrients; or if the antihistamines i switched to (in jan) is not working (because i am sneezing madly and am feeling bunged up 70% of the time); or i am feeling bored at work (i dont think so -there seem to be too many things to do); or is it just that time of the year.

tips on a postcard as to how the situation can be improved please. 

back to the routine - NOT

the wedding came and went. so did friends from abroad. and mil and travelling companion.  it was great fun to have them around. we played manic tourist guides, showing them the sights of KL/PJ/ Langkawi and ATE far more than we should have.  we have been supercharged bunnies on energiser ++.

we waved mil and companion off at the airport last night and this morning SFM and I looked at each other wondering how we should deal with the empty gaps in our schedule now that we dont have to play hosts. back to normal and get back to the old routine? NO. SFM and I have decided that we have not really been living in the past months. i.e. we have spent far too much time in front of the computer working and not enough time being outdoors, exercising, socialising and doing fun stuff.  we're trying to change that. lets see...

Intend to post some pix up of the recent activities  - but have not got a chance. Will aim to do so this week. Watch this space.

Lunch conversation

Was taken out for lunch yesterday by a soon to be ex work colleague (STBEC) 20 years older than me.  We havent always seen eye to eye on matters  (nothing personal just work issues). He is leaving soon for the Country South across the border.

Somewhere in between his nasi goreng and my tofu salad in wasabi dressing, STBEC asked me where i saw myself in 3-5 years. me: probably in australia, i think. SFM has a PR he needs to activate before 2008 so we're thinking sydney, melbourne and lately perth as a possible option.

He then asked: What about 10 years from now? Me: Oh if all works out and Bob is no longer rulling the roost in Zim, we'll be in Harare, raising carrots and other vegetables, haha.  Him: In Harare? Do you think that the financial insitutions will thrive there in 10 years? Or are you thinking of setting up practice there? Me: Neither actually. We're planning to run a travel -adventure type thing.  He: blinks. and blinks again. Me: You know eco tourism, that kind of thing. SFM's best friends run a successful adventure company out there and SFM and I have a cunning plan up our sleeves to run a complementary outfit, leveraging on the synergy between the two.

pix by JG, 2006

STBEX then splutters over his mouthful of drumstick +rice covered with runny yolk. Recovers quickly and says: But Rara, you have the potential to be such a good legal adviser - you are sooo detailed and particular and i have seen just how pedantic you can be when we worked together. [me (not aloud): hmmm backhanded compliments. isnt this a particular trait of a difficult person] STBEX: It is my duty to ask you to reconsider. You are in a good position. You speak well, you write well. You are a bumiputera, you stand well to gain from being here. If I were you, I would not leave the country but capitalise on the talent, the bumi status, the connection and make it realllllly big. Work in government. [Like I was doing before - earn peanuts and become frustrated with bereaucracy and hierachy?] Become a Minister. Eco tourism, snort, anyone can do it.

Really? Capitalise on being a bumi, work in government, become a Minister.  Great. After all anyone can run an eco tourism business?! Hmmmm. Shrugged my shoulders and changed the subject thereafter.  As we walked back to the building, I thanked him for lunch to which STBEX replied: Pleasure is mine, I hope I have given you food for thought.

CONCLUSION: cant say much about the lunch conversation, but certainly recommend the tofu salad in the cafe in concorde. so fresh, so tasty and the wasabi dressing  was the dog's bollocks.

the wife, the kids and his lover (second wife)

Malaysian broadsheet - the New Straits Times reports today that 'Awie' local superstar has fessed up to having a second wife since last year. and that he did not understand why his first wife had to give up their 8 year marriage upon discovering the news. He said, he shouldnt be blamed for wrecking his (first) marriage as he was only legitimising the relationship between him and the third party.  he didnt want to sin. he also said that it wasnt his fault that he ended up with two wives, after all it was 'jodoh',  i.e. his fate. 

Its not just the local stars that do this. I know a number of friends whose husbands are carrying on with their lovers clandestinely and when caught red handed, sulk, insist, no, demand that their wives understand their need to have another. after all they say, the religion and the law allows them to do so, why not you. i dont know how it happened. i did not go out looking for it. it was fate. it was meant to be. 

i am struck by how they all say THE SAME THINGS.  Do they subscribe to an online club where spurious lines like these are emailed out furiously by the committee to all members to use in their arguments with their spouses? How funny is that - in la malaysie, these second wife justifications are fast becoming cliches, just like those old break up lines we know so well, "its not you, its me darling".

Amazing too is how the scorned wife will HATE, DESPISE, ABHOR the girlfriend/ second wife and continue to LOVE, ADORE, WORSHIP the philandering husband.  Its not his fault that he strayed, it is her fault, that seductive temptress with her legs wide opened.  She's probably offering him anal. What could a man do but to succumb to these offerings. Never mind that he had to be out there, standing tall, actively gyrating in that extra-marital dance of theirs.   

And so she puts up with him, persuades him to drop the other and remain with her and their kids. The children need their father 24-7 and I need you too honey, she pleads.  He says, nothing needs to change, my love.  In fact things can be better if you allow it to be. At the moment, I am infused with guilt for the illicit meetings and my thoughts are divided between you and the famile. But by marrying her, my conscience will be salved and my thoughts will be focused on you and the kids (when I am with you). You and the kiddies will be happier for it,  sweetie, its a win-win situation.

Its the exceptional woman that kicks him in the goolies and his butt out the door.  So congratulations to Arni for giving her husband the boot.   

Polygamy laws do a wonderful job of removing accountabilty and sensibility from a man. Why shouldnt/wouldnt a man make the most of what society and the law giveth him. Why cant he have his cake and eat it too.

Imagine if these men were not able to wed the third parties. They would have to employ their senses and choose one over the other. 

One life for another.

The spouse and the kids or the girlfriend.

The domestic hearth or the freedom of singleton with new partner (hah  show me a man who marries his mistress straight after going through a divorce*).

At least once the choice is made, the scorned party (whichever it may be) is able to lick her wounds, heal and get wiv the programme.

the man learns the costs of his flagrant delicto and lives with his choices.

then happy or not, he gets to lie on the bed that he's made.

tis all fair then.

* Jimmy Goldsmith did have a point when he said, when a man marries his mistress, he creates a vacancy. 

hectic times

pix by JG

these are challenging hectic times. late finishes, working weekends and dreaming files.

yesterday was so frustrating that was ready to shove papers up arses and walk away.

xxx

pontificated to SFM on win-win situation of my being a tai-tai.  My win:  manicured and pedicured healthy me attending french lessons, no maybe Italian,  watercolour painting and  french cooking classes. His win: happy me and delish meals on regular basis. after all arent we always talking about eating healthy home cooked food?

unfortunately he didnt buy it. reckons I will get in more stressful activities as tai-tai than I do now. Harumph.

xxx

am clinging to soothsayer's forecast that clouds will shift and sun will shine in 2008.  in the meantime, its back to manic madness broken up by breaks away from the city...

ooooooooooi

the exam was painful. am not sure whether it was because was in a daze due to  my:

i) hardly getting  enough sleep the night before mugging on bond values -

present,

future and

yield (!);

ii) spending  half the evening yday obsessed -  trying to obtain the right ratio on a question in the mock question ONLY TO REALISE THIS MORNING that the book contains misprints and errors;

or

iii) because i did NOT find complex calculation on bond yields over 25 years in th xam paper but questions on what consitutes "accounting in substance rather than form" therein.

OOOOOOOOI

Please, please, please pass me a legal condundrum in a test anyday.

running tired

guess it was bound to happen.

after being on manic mode 2 months running, was bound to feel flat out exhausted.

pass me a pick me up please, someone, anyone?

watching the news

been watching the news on tele whilst running on the treadmill.

things just dont look good.

Katrina left a devastating impact in her wake - massive flooding, burning factories, blooming anarchy - marauding bandits,  murdering yobs and raging folks.

times like these, i wonder:

what exactly is the role of the government and what are the priorities of the rulers.  do politicians sit down as kids/teenagers/young adults and focus on what the country/people need and expect of them should they attain their ambition (no doubt they are all ambitious, driven folks);

or were they busy  playing soldier; police and cop; monopoly; and eyeing the coffers.

why do we continue to elect war mongering megalomaniacs, interested in preserving their power and position for himeself, into ffice - to run the coutnry, the world even? why arent they just as quick to respond to helping others as they are to hurt them.

why?