today on my way back from work, whilst standing in a very crowded tube, a (seated) young girl kept shifting her stare from my belly to my face (which was hidden behind the guardian weekly). then after some minutes she tentatively reached out to me and asked if i wanted her seat. from the look of her face, i suspect she half expected me to 'growl am not preggers how dare you'. as tempted as i was to do that (for some fun) i just didnt have the heart and so instead smiled and said thank you, but am getting off the next stop. phew she looked relieved she got it right!
and so it looks like now, at 21 weeks (22 this sunday!) i do look preggers. haha. now all i have to do is wait for the 'honeymoon period' to kick in so i get that dewy glowy look am dreaming off (yes i am obsessed by the idea).
my nausea has reduced in intensity (huzzah) and frequency (kind off). week before bali we established (through pain and experience) that the ineptly described 'morning sickness' striketh when i havent eaten anything in 3.5 hours. which means i have to snack ever so often or drink milo/hot choc at 210mins intervals. all well and good if am able to monitor the passing of minutes/hours. bad if am engrossed /lose track of time. result: SFM having to prepare snacks and force me to eat as am lying flat on the couch feeling wretched after returning from work or my sitting somewhere feeling wretched (wondering why i didnt just grab something/anything before the 210mins ended) trying to make my way home. Q: does this mean i am one of those women who continue to suffer from morning sickness through out? hmmm
we went for the 20 week scan before we headed to Bali. and the scary amnio test where they stick that giant needle straight into my por belly to get some amniotic fluid from the water bag. i have to admit that i was a huge bundle of nerves before, during and after. we only got the results of the amnio some days ago - all good, thank god. we also got confirmation that the baby in the belly is a boy. with long legs (guess that will be SFM's genes then). i have been warned that the kicks will be coming soon and that it is already probably happening (but I cant feel it due to my not knowing how it feels like). this could well be true as generally feel clueless and cannot distinguish between indigestion/heartburn and butterfly feelings in the belly.
must admit that it all feels terribly new, scary and yet exciting too. i expect our lives will change but hope that it wont change that much. maybe enhanced is the word i am searching for. i.e. our lives will be enhanced by the arrival of a little sunflowery birdy baby who will no doubt be alot of fun to have and be around. that we will continue to do the stuff we do e.g. travel (with baby in tow) and yet also have continue to have adult time amongst ourselves.
it will be fun to bring up baby. am already filled with ideas on books to read, games to play, music to listen and the chocs/sweets/fastfood he will not have. hahaha.
other thoughts - despite what all the pregger books say, i cannot help but fret.worry. get all concerned about the baby even though he is only 21.5 weeks old and is snug and secure in my belly.
oof how tortured am i over that soft cheese accidentally consumed, the smoky room etc etc etc?! and whats even more disconcerting is my knowing that this general 'concerned feeling' re baby's wellbeing that is sitting in the forefront of my mind is here to stay for a very long time - i.e. likely to continue till baby is no longer infant but grown up man.
gulp.
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